When I first moved after school into a new town, where I knew no one....where I had to use GPS just to get to the nearest grocery store or gas station. When I wondered what the crap I was thinking for taking such a chance on my own. You see, I had been in a 9 year relationship before this and all the moves made I always made with him. I had never been alone. And here I was....as alone as could be. I cried when I would get home from going somewhere because without GPS, I'd be lost. I would cry because when I did come home, I had no human to greet me. But my two dogs would lovingly try to lick my face - so it could've been worse. But I was overwhelmed. Lonely. The loneliest I had ever been. I can't remember how long I had been living there, but it wasn't too long. I got in my car and plugged in the grocery store into my GPS (still didn't know my way around so I definitely couldn't have been there too long)...and drove. I was overwhelmed that day from everything mentioned above and my new job as a Physician Assistant - my first one since graduating. The weight of the responsibility and my worry of whether I would do well or not was crushing. I was in line to check out and the lady infront of me looked at me and smiled. I'm not quite sure what she said at first but I'm sure she could see my emotions written all over my face. We briefly talked and somehow it came up that I was new to town. In a heartbeat she got so excited, hugged me, and welcomed me here. She said there are many adventures awaiting and I should be so very excited for what is yet to come. And then she left. I got in my car and cried so hard - it was the first hug I had since I moved and was such a welcomed gift. A stranger, one I see as an angel/blessing, gave me a miracle. One I desperately needed.
Now if you're still with me reading away (or awake from my blabbing)....this next miracle is a hard one for me to talk about, but always gives me goosebumps too. I wouldn't be here doing what I'm doing without it.
So that 9 year relationship I mentioned before....we were high school sweethearts. I won't go into details but it ended abruptly....and I was in PA school....during rotations and stressing about whether I'd even make it through or not (like we all did). But in that too I had to find a new place to move into, split up our stuff, get the help to move everything (thank you to my family!), all while still trying to keep it together for rotations. I ended up moving into an apartment that my friend/classmate was just in - but she had also just moved out all her furniture. I didn't have much furniture with me - none actually so I bought an air mattress and a futon and had that for the next 3 months. I also didn't have my pets with me, as they weren't allowed, so my family took them for a while I was all alone. Somewhere between this I also started drinking a lot to avoid the pain even if for a bit. One night, I was home, probably had some liquid "courage," and decided it was all too much for me to deal with. Between my childhood past and this, I was beyond depressed. I wanted to be at peace and be able to rest...forever. I had a note written. A knife in my hands, was in the tub...and my phone rang. I believe I ignored it, but it rang again. I picked it up - figured I could postpone my final plans for one more moment. ...and it was a friend of mine from high school that I hadn't heard from in years. She started off saying that she just felt a tug on her heart to call me, and prayed I still had the same number. She thanked me for being who I was back then and being there for her, inviting her to our youth group, and talking with her about my faith in God. She said that I was the only one she felt comfortable talking to about this. She proceeded to tell me about how her life was currently and how she sees her faith working every day. She told me she hoped that her call came at a good time and the news/thanking helped. I was speachless. And then I believe I sobbed. I don't remember if I was too stunned to talk to her about my plans that night or if I hung up, but I have definitely let her know since. Without her listening to that "tug" she felt to reach out - I know I wouldn't be here. THAT was my BIG in your face miracle that did and has since reminded me I, and everyone, is here for a purpose.
Sometimes the miracles we expect or hope for are also miracles others are hoping for. And we can do our part to create them. In turn, I think we get our own miracle knowing that the timing helped someone get their moment they needed. Restoration of faith or life or whatever. We have to create miracles in order for miracles to continue to exist. And we are capable of so many, daily miracles! They don't have to be huge, extravagant, money consuming gestures. It can be as simple as a phone call, a kind word. A flower from a stranger. Whatever it is that is put on your heart to do for others - people you know or strangers - I believe you shouldn't let anything stop you from doing so. You may never know the true impact of your actions, but someone else just may have gotten a miracle they needed. What can you do today, this moment, this week - to spread some happiness and possibly even create a miracle for someone? Please do so, because something as simple as a phone call, I know, can even save a life.
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